Today I started listening to “Church of the Wild: How Nature Invites Us into the Sacred” by Victoria Loorz. I don’t know if it’s the narrator, and if it will be different when I buy the book on the kindle, but i’m very skeptical. I was raised in a very religious family, and being myself was not something I could do. The book, maybe unintentionally, feels very preachy, and very One God based. I can see the connection to nature, and I do hope that it gets to where I’m not feeling a little, I hate to say it but, triggered almost, sooner rather than later. I wouldn’t say I “practice” any faith, but I enjoy studying paganism and wicca, and try to incorporate some of those ideals into my life. Let me tell you, that side of my family doesn’t talk to me much.
I’m 1 hour into an 8 hour audible read, but I have a feeling it’s going to take me a lot longer than that. We’ll see. Maybe I’ll finish by week 1 of winter and have something new to share for my presentation
Self Eval Time
I checked all the boxes. I did read a book that wasn’t listed, but I got the meat birds harvested (Except one, I’ll comment on that in a minute!), and I did accomplish my winter gardening goals (mostly). I guess I can’t say I checked all the boxes, because I didn’t manage to post weekly.
I took the top off the meat bird enclosure while I was processing. I didn’t even count as I was doing it apparently. I just got them all done and bagged and into the freezer. I had 8 in the freezer, I thought. Turns out I’d counted one from last time! I was walking down the driveway and there’s just this white chicken pecking around in the pasture. She’s happy, so I’ll leave her alone unless she seems to get to a point where she can’t be comfortable anymore.
This quarter was a lot of reflection and figuring out how to do better next year, followed by burnout, a serious mental health crisis, then not thinking I could do this anymore, and followed again by a renewed sense of worth and realizing that I sure can, and I will do it for ME, not for anyone else. I think that honestly had a lot to do with “Rooted” and how much it has impacted me.
I’m so excited for next years CSA, and for getting everything happy and healthy again. I fertilized with sheep, chickens, and geese. I’ll do a soil test this spring and see what else is needed. I’m done tilling, and I’m going to do my best to go back to the sustainable practices I was working towards before I lost my hold on my garden.
I’m sad this ILC is over. I loved the faculty I got to work with, and I will miss working through issues and writing about them to hopefully help others in the future with it.
Spring and Summer quarters were so easy. The plants lived inside, and then the sun came out and I got to work outside every day and put my feet and hands (and sometimes my face too… oops) into the soil. When the weather wasn’t great, I could sit and read some of the many books I found that interested me. This quarter, the weather was terrible almost all the time. I didn’t get all my plant starts in the ground, I barely got the garlic and tulips in, and I didn’t get the gardens covered or planted in cover crop. There was a lot of “If I didn’t have to work, I could have done it.” I got really bitter over this quarter. I took a biology course, and while fascinating, the faculty you work with really does matter. I would have much rather been on the farm, or taking other courses with faculty I know, but remote has been the way I’ve been able to take classes for the last year due to my work schedule and having kids. I’m one quarter away from graduation, but there’s a lot more I would have liked to do.
I miss my farm, because even though I live on it, and I’ve been working on bits a pieces of it all year, I haven’t been able to fully enjoy any bit of it in quite a while. I went in full of plans and with so many expectations, but I was let down by a lot of people I needed help from, and it’s kind of opened my eyes to the reality of next year. I made a huge addition this year, but I likely won’t plant anything in it if I am not going to have the help I need. I’m thoroughly struggling with farming, and I’m feeling really discouraged.
***********
I left off at that point last night, and had a couple conversations about how I was feeling discouraged. I realized that I just need to make it MY plan, not someone else’s plan, and make it to where I will have everything I need to make it work. I need to take back my garden!
I feel like I made a good start at this with planting things that I wanted this fall. I wanted to plant them last year, but was discouraged with being asked if I really wanted to give up a piece of my garden for that long. Y’know what? Yes, I do want to give up a chunk of the garden for over 200 potential heads of garlic next year, and 2/3 that number of garlic scapes in the spring. I planted the tulips I wanted.
I got this.
I’ve spent my entire planning process trying to appease someone else, and it’s time that I plan the way I like to. Back to the drawing board.
***************
Week 10!
I’m going to list every quote I loved from “Rooted” as well as a screenshot I found rather interesting.
“Forest walkers had a 102 percent increase in calming parasympathetic nervous activity—after just fifteen minutes.” (82)
“A journalist writing in the Atlantic states the goal of forest bathing clearly as a “means to an end, and that end is better health.” Human health, that is. The health of the land, trees, creatures, and ecosystems is rarely mentioned in the nature-healing literature.” (85)
“Yet not all aloneness is equal. It is important to distinguish between positive solitude and unwanted isolation.” (105)
“Bring little in the way of distraction, perhaps a notebook for exploring thoughts, but maybe not a book. It is our own minds and visions we seek, not those of others.” (107)
“As long as we frame a worldview with language that refers to the wild as a commodity, it will be treated as one.” (153)
“If you do this, the tree being hugged “will be nourished and bloom like a flower.” Is someone around to see you hugging the tree? This is the part about not caring what others think. Tree-hugging dirt worshipper? Thank you, yes.” (181)
“..(the human brain, it turns out, reacts similarly to the ding of a text message or the wail of a siren as it would to the growl of a bear behind us in the woods: as a threat, demanding a constant state of alertness).” (194)
“Time in nature is time in the presence of essential death. Leaves to soil, lemmings to owl food, deer corpse to winged vulture flesh, and our own bodies one day to… to what?” (205)
“I wondered how long it would take to feel a sense of mossy rhizomes reaching into my skin, the first loosening of bark-into-soil. It turns out not long at all—unsettlingly not-long.” (209)
The whole death list on pg 210
“All shall be well, in whatever tangled, unknowable, difficult, beautiful way that wellness unfolds.” (216)
I will explain my feelings on each quote I’ve listed from this book in my paper, posted in reports.
I was asked if I’d seen “Church of the Wilderness” and when I went to look it up on Amazon, I scrolled down a bit, and look at what I found under “Frequently purchased together”
I have now read 2 of the 3 of these books, and based on the fact that they’re together like this, I think I may have to read this one too! I had a little chuckle about it.
***********
Planting? You bet! Tulips went in, and we got the garlic mulched over.
When I outlined the trench for the tulips, I wasn’t sure about my spacing. Some people plant close together for annual production, others plant further apart and let them multiply and grow. I decided that I was going to do them as annuals this year, purely because the place that I prepped for them is really close to my blueberry bushes, and I’d like to add more blueberries next year. I may try to find place for them to grow as perennials. I really enjoy looking at them.
A couple cloves of garlic got missed when we planted them apparently, and they’d started to grow roots outside of the dirt. I gave William a little trench, and he planted the garlic. That’s now “Williams Garden!”
We had a round bale get rained on, and it couldn’t be fed to the pony anymore, and was too heavy to move back to the sheep at the time, so we left it, and got rained on even more. So now it’s breaking down, and so we used it for mulch. As we were pulling the kinda slimy bale apart, steam started to escape. It had started fermenting as well. there was a yeast colony building in the middle. It was super gross to touch, but super cool to see!
We got it all covered, and then we also put an inch or two on the tulips and put a little more soil on top.
I came up with a super basic CSA plan, but I know it still needs some tweaking. I’ll have to look over exactly what was in this years boxes to know what I’m expecting too much of!
Not included on the lists are Garlic, Eggs, Mushrooms, Strawberries, Raspberries, Blueberries, Apples, and Pears which will be included as we have them.
Week 1 (June 10 – June 16) Cabbage Kohlrabi Lettuce Green Onions Cilantro Radishes Turnips Parsley Blueberries
Week 9 (August 5 – August 11): Tomatoes Green Onion Cilantro Basil Radishes Turnips Parsley Carrots
We lost 2 of the kittens we had been fostering, one went to a new home, one got spayed, and the other went to his appointment but didn’t make weight so I had to pick him up without getting neutered.
The kids were out of school for another week for Thanksgiving, and then conferences at their school the next week canceled school as well. They finally go back tomorrow, and boy am I excited.
Week 8
The birds decided that they didn’t need to they in the coop and run for the winter. I came out one morning, and they had taken advantage of the storm the night before, as it had knocked the net down in one corner, and they flew or climbed the net to get out. I still haven’t bothered to put them back, because they’ve been cleaning up the garden with the sheep and staying out of the front yard and my MIL’s space.
It got pretty frozen this week, and our aging (9.5y) German Shepherd normally sleeps outside and patrols the property, but my husband was very worried about him and brought him inside for the really cold nights. We lost 2 geese over the week, and I made the dog a nice warm bed in the barn so that he could snuggle up but also still hear things going on. The rest of the geese have been safe ever since.
I started reading “Rooted” and I am really enjoying it. Here are a few of my favorite passages so far.
“Rootedness is a way of being in concert with the wilderness and wildness that sustains humans and all of life” Page 20
Mary Oliver said: “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” 21
“Truth and Fact are not synonyms” 24 <— THIS was SO strong and it is 6 words!
“Rooted ways embolden us to remember that with our complex minds we can feel-and live-more than one thing simultaneously. Anxiety, difficulty, fear, despair. Yes. Beauty, connectedness, possibility, love. Yes.” Pg 22
“Kith is intimacy with a place, its landmarks, its fragrance, the habits of its wildlings. Kithship enlivens kinship.” Pg 26
This book is, I think, hitting very similarly to Braiding Sweetgrass. I am taking my time reading it, but will be done before week 10, and will hopefully have a full report of quotes and feelings done.
Week 9
One “Rooted” quote this week:
“Hope is not a remedy or even a substitute for the despair and anxiety we face in the modern world, but a companion to these things. Mature hope involves a willingness to allow that brokenness and beauty sometimes intertwine.”
My life has kind of been in shambles recently. I really want everything to be perfect, always. When things are not going the way I envision, I shut down. I don’t do my best work, and I don’t give my best self to my relationship with my husband, kids, friends, or colleagues. I read this piece and it was really quite powerful for how my mental health has been. I’m working on letting the good and the bad intermingle, and not being so obsessed with perfection.
This week I did some reading, and I also got some of the first plantings for the 2024 scheduled. I’m still not sure on quantities, but I know that the 1st of January I will be planting Onions and Celery! Guess I better get a move on with getting the indoor space turned back into a plant nursery.
After I planted the garlic I figured that there was no way there was still time to plant the tulips, but places were still selling the bulbs, and no one could give me a reason not to plant them, so I ordered about 70 bulbs, and they will be going into the trench on Monday!
Next week, I will work on rewriting my paper on Iwigara, because I was in a really bad place when I wrote it, and couldn’t get out of the mechanical “get it done” style I fall into. I will also write on “Rooted” and get my 2024 CSA plan written up, and the flyer finished. I want to get the word out there early. I’m hoping to do a few more this next year!
I have been keeping incredibly busy between the garden getting put to bed, reading, planting garlic, and finding the saffron crocuses blooming in my center console. Not to mention medical needs foster kittens, as well as getting sick and actually having to take days off work.
Over the last 2 weeks I finished reading “Iwigara: American Indian Ethnobotanical Traditions and Science” by Enrique Salmon, and started reading “Rooted: Life at the Crossroads of Science, Nature, and Spirit” by Lyanda Lynn Haupt. I’ve not gotten very far into it, but I cannot wait to start to listen to it while I’m working this next week. Iwigara was a really insightful book, and I enjoyed writing about it almost as much as I enjoyed reading it.
The sheep successfully cleared the garden spaces, and so I got to start covering the beds, and putting down some clover for the winter. I just used my hands to spread it, and I’m sure it’s going to be patchy, but it’s all going to get turned under once the ground can be worked in the spring, and I will be putting landscape fabric down on it. I know there is a lot of controversy over the landscape fabric, and how it’s made of plastic, but I had to make decisions regarding how much I can handle in regards to weeding and managing the amount of space I need and want in order to successfully grow enough produce to feed my family as well as continue the CSA for my community. The CSA is a really big commitment, but it was something that I really enjoyed doing for people.
I got a little overwhelmed and burnt out this year, and I know that I can attribute a lot of It to the complete mess of overgrowth and weeds that I had to contend with, as well as the complete lack of help. I need to think on how I’m going to combat the lack of help for next year, because commitments seem to not be being honored these days, which is so very frustrating. It’s funny how I find more things to think about as I’m writing these!
I got the garlic planted (insert dance party here), FINALLY. I seriously can’t believe it took so long, but I’m just glad that it got done before it got cold again. My husband was looking for something in the car, and he opened the center console to the saffron crocuses having bloomed in complete darkness in the center console. I’m really not sure how to go from here, but I’m going to stick them in the ground on Monday and hope for the best… When my mom gave them to me, she told me they weren’t going to bloom until next year, so I thought I had a little extra time. Nope… and they’re hearty things to have bloomed in complete darkness! I’ll keep this updated as I see how they grow! I will be giving all of the saffron I harvest to my mom, since these were her bulbs that she was really excited about until she injured her arm and couldn’t keep up with the garden anymore. I hope to bring whatever I have to Christmas for her.
I haven’t had enough time in the garden, and I already feel the tug to et back out there, and it hasn’t even actually gotten cold yet!!
It’s been a long time since an illness has taken me out. This last week I had to miss 2 days of work because I couldn’t get out of bed, and it was just a cold! I’m glad that I got the rest though, because I was back at work and healthy just a couple days later.
Having a farm is an interesting thing. Animals get sick, and google leads to different sources in how to treat with antibiotics or other treatments you can find at the feed store. I started with chickens, and they got a respiratory infection, so I learned to give intramuscular injections. Kittens born to the barn cats needed vaccines, so I learned to give Subcutaneous injections. Lambs born to mothers who rejected them, and were too cold to suck on a bottle needed tubing, or too many puppies born to a single mother and needed supplementation but won’t take a bottle, so I learned to tube feed. I can also give intravenous injections to horses.
I learned all these things by watching. I see people do things so many times in a row, that I decide I can do it, and then? I do it successfully, over and over again until it becomes second nature. I’ve successfully taught some of these skills to people who I am close to, and who are willing to watch a video or me do it over and over again before they give it a shot. My husband can now tube feed our kittens who need it.
A month and a half ago, a little orange kitten was found alone in someone’s driveway. They thought it was so young that it needed bottle feeding. I have bottle fed before, as I fostered kittens all through high school, and then bottle fed last year as well. I offered to take the kitten, but when we got him home, he was already old enough to eat wet food. Going through that post, I noticed someone mentioned a rescue who might be able to take him, and I reached out to them to become a foster. I’ve since had a set of 3 come through, and had 2 of those move on, because they were eating and healthy. The smallest, Vici (vee-chee), was sick, and she’s finally healthy and almost ready to move along and get adopted, hopefully with the little orange boy, Nemo.
I also took in 3 who needed to learn how to eat, and they were only here for a week before they were absolute professional eaters. I got a call about 5 one-week old neonates who needed bottle feeding, and the 3 I taught to eat quickly moved on to a new foster so I could prep for these new babies. They’ve been here for almost a month now, and while we’ve lost one, the rest are growing up very well.
We’re headed into winter, which means less kittens born hopefully. I should be able to see these guys through to their adoption, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I need to move them along once they’re weaned, so that we can start this process all over again! It’s hard, but I love making a difference.
This has been a chaos quarter, and I’m really struggling. We’ve lost horses, my horse got hurt, my kids got sick, then I got sick, and THEN I got a few foster bottle baby kittens to take care of… On top of it all, my boss/SIL went on vacation and left me with way more commitments than I actually have time for with school being my priority. She’s back, and as soon as my other SIL gets home from her vacation, it’s my turn… I hope?
After Winter Quarter, I am done! I will have completed all of my requirements for my Bachelors. I thought I had more credits left to go, but when I looked at it, it’s so close, and then the graduation email came in and blew my mind. I’m trying to stay in the moment, and keep going with everything that I need to focus on in this quarter. My work has been subpar, but has fulfilled the hour requirements for my ILC, but even so, I feel like it’s not my best work and I’m not happy with it, so the second half of the quarter will be a lot more focused on getting things to where I want them.
Time to actually evaluate my Learning objectives:
Student will complete project in learning and understanding intricacies in raising and processing animals for meat.
Killed it. Pun really not intended, but then I chuckled, so it’s staying. I got the birds dispatched and processed and put in the freezer! I got my report updated, and I know that 10 at a time is a really good number. I would like to start earlier in the year though.
Student will learn what is required for starting and maintaining their own market garden farm and CSA farm share, as well as learning how to preserve and process vegetables grown for personal use and storage.
This years practice CSA was a huge success, and I am thrilled to do it again, hopefully in a larger scale next year. I’m also thrilled with the amount of vegetables in my freezer.
I’m using the sheep to help fertilize the garden, and then I will do a soil test in the early spring before amending the soil prior to planting again. The fall planting is going well, and we have multiple things started for the winter garden.
Student will include reading material and book reports to enhance understanding of gardening, farming, and soil practices
I am working through finishing my first book, and then plan to go through at least one more before the end of the quarter. I will also be looking into more planning publications to help me finish the planning of the garden.
Overall, I know I’m doing good work, but I’m struggling with it being enough.
Thursday of week 3, I got the text that my horse was a little off in one of her hind legs, and so we took a look at her for our ride on Saturday, and decided that she was not too bad, maybe just a little sore. She felt great to ride on Saturday, which was a huge sigh of relief. Tuesday of week 4, I pulled her out to get the wiggles out before she went for a ride with a friend, and she was actually very lame (limping) in that hind leg. So started our quest to get her better. It’s been almost 2 weeks, and she’s still not better. We’re on the right track and have a plan though, so hopefully it comes through.
The big gardens got cleared out over the last two weeks. We pulled the rest of the carrots and the beets from the middle garden, and then we turned the sheep out onto it. They have been working diligently, and it will be ready for us to use again come spring. As soon as we get everything cleaned up in the spring, we will place the landscape fabric, and we won’t have to worry about the weeds! This was one of my biggest issues this last season, and I can’t wait to be able to stop worrying so much about them, and just let my plants grow.
Iwigara is such an interesting book so far, it is a mix of ethnobotanical knowledge, cultural and spiritual significance, interactions with nature, modern scientific explanation, biodiversity, conservation, and traditional healing.
“Corn is the only traditional American Indian food plant that needs humans, planting its seeds, in order to survive. This is because humans created corn: […]” this quote is so fascinating. The corn is part of the 3 sisters, but it is also the only one that needs humans. Where would it be if there were no humans to plant it?
It does go through a lot of plants very quickly, and I wish it would spend a little more time and go more in depth about certain plants. Once I finish this one, I’ll move onto either Rooted or The Seed Keeper.
I’ve had a lot of bad happening over the last couple weeks, but I’m holding onto the hope that I can pull through it and get back to my full force of work. I’m doing plenty, but it never feels like enough! I’m working through the garden plan, planted some tulips and saffron crocus, and I changed where the garlic is going to go. I didn’t get to planting it before this random freeze, but it warms up again in a couple days, and the garlic is my final project before I go into full planning and reading mode. I hope to have a bunch of plans ready to share soon!
Planning is something I’ve always enjoyed doing. In the garden, I plan where each variety of each plant is going to go, I plan when I’m going to plant it, and when I’m going to harvest it. In my life, I plan each day down to the minute, I plan lunch and dinner, and I plan my work day. The funny thing about plans is … you’re never quite following it.
This week was planned a while ago. I was going to work Monday, and during my down time I would pull the tomatoes and peppers. The rest of the week I was going to set up the fences and let the sheep out to clear everything. Well… Monday we had to have one of my SIL’s horses euthanized. She fractured her leg a month ago, and they were trying to give it time (along with constant care) to come back together, and try to heal. The X-Rays showed that the break had moved apart, and it was expected that there was an infection in the bone which kept it from healing. I’ve been there when we’ve lost a clients horse, but it hits very differently when it is a horse that I have taken care of a lot, and came to love like she was my own. It was a heartbreaking day, and no one got much done. We did the minimum for the day, and hugged and cried a lot.
Needless to say, I did not get the tomatoes out on Monday.
Peep the Marigolds I unceremoniously chucked over the fence (and missed)
Tuesday rolled around, and I got to ride for the first time in a while, which felt really nice. My horse beneath me is a serenity that I don’t feel any other time. I did get the tomatoes and puppers pulled, and the cages stacked in a pile. We have quite a little pile of peppers to deal with, which was an unexpected surprise. I didn’t get the plants to the compost yet, and I still need to mow and prep for garlic, but I did manage to get that ball rolling!
As if I didn’t have enough hats already, I recently started fostering cats and kittens for Oakbrook Cat Rescue. I’ve got a particular set of skills with sub q fluids, tube feeding, and medication handling that was a high needs area for the rescue, so I wanted to fill it. My first fosters came last Saturday, and on Wednesday, 2 of the 3 moved on to a lower needs foster, while I kept the sick one, and took in 3 who needed to learn to eat!
Between that, and dentist appointments, I managed to get some excel sheets filled in. I’m hoping to get the CSA planned in the next couple weeks so that I can fill in the planting schedule and garden layout. Then, maybe I’ll get a little break before the big work starts again!
Thurday I was prepping the big garden to let the sheep on, and I noticed that the carrots I’d planted in April looked really happy. I’d given up on them due to weeds and rocky soil. I dug in and in one of the 3 rows I pulled out a 3 gallon bucket full of HUGE carrots! I’m so excited that I was able to grow them in our soil, and they weren’t too messed up. These went to my MIL to process, but there are still 2+ rows left!
Abundance!!
It’s been a light weekend, mostly filled with work, but my best friends birthday was on Saturday, and we had lunch for her, and then Sunday morning I went over and we had breakfast for her birthday before I had to go be at work. My husband took the kids to the pumpkin patch with his friend and his daughter, and I was thrilled to see how much fun they had, while I pulled posts out of the garden after work.
It’s been a heavy week, both emotionally and working, and I’m glad to hopefully get back to some normalcy in this coming week.
I’m used to committing half my day to my farm for the purpose of my ILC, but now the growing season is slowing down, and most of my focus is shifting to putting things to bed and cleaning up to prepare for next year. I’ve put together the binder for 2024 garden season, as well as the excel sheets for it.
The last two weeks have been seed inventory and ordering, organizing and labeling seed boxes, setting up the maps, clearing out some of the gardens, as well as butchering meat birds. We have a ton of work to do still, but it’s on the way! I plan to let the sheep onto the big garden to clear it before it is ready for the winter stuff. I have a ton of garlic to plant, as well as saffron crocus my mom bought but didn’t have space for.
We’ve had a lot going on at home, so very little time to do much of anything, let along thinking about what to post…
Our stall cleaner (he cleans 25 stalls twice daily, cleans and fills their waters every day, and switches turnout three times a day) has been out for a few days with an injury, so I’ve been working 10+ hour days, and I don’t see it coming to an end anytime soon.
This next weeks goal is to get the gardens totally cleared and garlic planted. Keeping my week realistic with what I have going on at work….
Boring post for the first two weeks, but there will be more after this weekend!!
