Last night was hard for me. It was my first day of full research and while at the time I did not feel the emotional weight of it all, once I had finished it all came down on me. Examining my heritage so directly can be a bit heavy. Entering the lives of my ancestors when I know that their hearts were so full of fear and hurt can be a painful process. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I think that in some way all people are affected my generational trauma. It shows up in lots of ways: anxiety, depression, issues with sleep. The wounds of our ancestors so deep and un-healing that they show up on our own skin, in our own lives. I come from poverty, abuse, illness spreading generations back and that paired with the trauma of descending from Eastern European Jews makes for a heady cocktail. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I think that yesterday I just got all wrapped up in it all, cold winters, famine, pogroms. While this is definitely a part of what life was like in the shtetl, it was also joy, having a full belly, laughing with your whole chest, candle light. While healing from generational trauma, I feel, does mean going back and feeling the cold and the hunger, it is also letting the warmth embrace you. I think that keeping this in mind as I continue with my project is really important. In the same way that Eastern European Jewish women kept themselves warm and full in the cold winters, so will I. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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